Hey FATTY, Don't stress out!

The main thing I keep hearing when I announce to people that I am expecting my second little hellion... erm... angel is: "Don't stress, it's bad for the baby." Oh really? Well, Thanks for that, does that mean that you are volunteering to raise my almost three year old Little Man for the next 6 Months? Does that mean that you will also take in my Husband and feed him, make sure he showers and clean up after him too? Does that also mean that you will put up with his video games and snide remarks? Because if that's what that means then I will be sure not to stress. Stress is inevitable people. It happens all the time. It happens when you least expect it. It rings your doorbell at 1pm on an otherwise sunny, bright day to tell you that you that you have an unexpected visitor who has invited themselves in to critique your appearance and the cleanliness of your home, and guess what? You had opted out of washing the floors that day to cuddle with your Little Man on the couch after a long visit at the park and a very messy lunch making excursion that lead to you changing into your pajamas and your hair is all over the place caked in peanut butter. Yet, there you are at the door staring stress in the face and you can't just shut the door on it. So, yes ladies and gentlemen while I know that being in a stressful situation is not optimal when pregnant...(Heck is it optimal when you aren't?) The possibility of stress is everywhere and you have to face it head on most of the time, pregnant or not.

The Next Peice of advice I Can't stand: "Don't gain too much weight this time." Oh thank you, Ya know, I really enjoyed the fact that I justified to myself that eating 4 cheeseburgers in one sitting while I was pregnant the first time with Little Man was a good idea, only to lead to an over 60 pound weight gain with me only losing 30 of it prior to getting pregnant the second time. I think I will do it again! Trust me, I am NOT going to do it again, but I also REFUSE to obsess about my weight. There is NOTHING wrong with indulging once in a while, so if you are out with me and I decide that I want to eat a plate of fries smothered in gravy (yep there are those fries and gravy again I just can't get them out of my head) then perhaps keep your mouth shut and instead of assuming I am eating like that ALL the time, consider the possibility that I have been craving that same thing for WEEKS and have finally given in. I AM pregnant after all and pregnancy cravings are like nothing I have ever experienced before and I refuse to completely refuse myself of everything all the time.

Sometimes People just have to trust that I know what I am doing. I am not a complete turd brain.

2010, Tempting Fate and Daylight Savings Time

Things seem to be working out for us for the time being. I don't mean to sound negative but when you have gone through what we had been through in 2010 its hard not to assume trouble is lurking around the corner. On a positive note we are thoroughly happy with what we have. We enjoy where we are living and I continue to put forth a great effort to never give the stairs here the satisfaction of meeting my behind up close. Of course its only a matter of time before my bottom gives in and lets the stairs have a little contact. Especially since I have been walking slowly down the stairs to avoid falling, but the stairs may be under the impression that I am teasing them, and when you lead something on like that.. there are usually consequences.

Things have been busy around here. We are all still getting over being sick. Husband/Daddy has been helpful lately so I assuming my little list of my day actually instilled some sense of what a day at home is actually like and he has decided to take some initiative. Don't get me wrong, he still leaves his cups beside the bed and his socks all over the floor but at least he can wash a dish without me asking... that's progress.

Little Man has decided that he now speaks Spanish and has taken a liking to counting from 1-10 in Spanish as well as playing with his school bus and saying Bus in Spanish. It's quite adorable when he walks up to me in the kitchen while I am cooking and says: "Hola Mommy." It makes me giggle.

Today was spent just hanging around. I have Daylight Savings Time to thank for my Little man now sleeping in until 7:30ish every morning. Way better than 6:30. Yay! And he is still going to bed at 7:30pm so that's nice.

I guess I am going to head to bed, Like I said we have been pretty boring lately.

Packing, Call Screening and Super Lists!

Well Little man has decided to totally disregard the "Don't Wake up before the sun" Memo and has decided that 6am is his new awake time. Fine, I can deal with that. I can if I have to. I don't want to but I will.

Last night I fell asleep pretty early, which is going to start being a daily occurrence if little man continues to insist upon waking up at a million o'clock in the morning. Goodness I miss the days when 8am was my wake up time.

Have you ever tried to pack with a 2 year old? I have, several times since November in fact! It's really not that easy, although I know who I need around when it comes time to Un-pack! I seriously get one thing in a box and two seconds later its out of the box again and Little man is running all around the house with whatever it is. Funny, because most of the stuff I have packed as been toys he has neglected to have any interest in for Months but as soon as he sees they are going to be boxed and taped away he all of a sudden has a new fangled interest in these things. So the running around with things results in Mommy chasing after him, and if you have all read this before.. then you will understand what happens when I run, walk or most of the time even stand still. I am accident prone.

This Morning has been busy. We are all excited about moving, and Friday Little Man will be going to Papa's house so that we can complete this move a little easier. That should be good. We will see, I just hope he doesn't wake up that early at Papa's this weekend because there will be some minds lost at that time in the morning... I will be screening my calls and hiding from them, just because he doesn't sleep in does not mean you can return him early.. you said Sunday Originally so that is what we will be going with.

I can't believe the enormity of the list of stuff that I have to do to get organized for this weekend. It just sits there and stares at me, I glare back at the list with vigor.. Damn list.. I WILL get you finished. However, this is the same list that made my pen explode all over the place last week, the same list that has been through the washing machine and still survived and the same list that seems to get longer and longer even though it SHOULD be getting shorter. It certainly is trying to intimidate me. Damn Super List. I swear it has a cape.

Well, I am off to do some more packing, and repacking while Little man unpacks... ugh!

Birthdays, Late Bedtimes, Early to Rise and Accident Prone

Yeah Yeah, so I am 25 today! Happy Birthday to me right!? Little man woke up this morning at 6:30... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Little man had a huge poop diaper... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I tripped over the baby gate on the way to throw the diaper out and somehow managed to bend my toe backwards... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! How many days accident free? It is now back to 0... again.

Little man didn't go to bed last night until 9:30, sure he was IN bed at 8 as usual, but he was talking to himself in there for an hour and a half. At least now he knows how I feel when I am talking to myself all the time. Little man and I have had a conversation about this several times before. 6:30am doesn't exist on the clock for me so he shouldn't wake up until at least 7:30. Yet, this morning there he was... door open... soft little voice saying "Hi Mommy. I waked up". Did he NOT get the Memo?

So I get out of bed, and realized really quickly when Little man said "Mommy, dirty face. Ewww" that I had not washed my makeup off before bed last night. So I told him to hold on and traipse into the bathroom where I proceed to wash the makeup off my face, somehow managing to get mascara IN my eye. Great, Now I can't see. So I stumble around fumbling blindly with my hands stretched out in front of me trying to find the towel. When I finally find it hanging on the back of my bedroom door and wipe my face clean I look over to Little man's door and realize he's just standing there in his doorway Wide eyed. "What's wrong" I asked. Wrong question. He replied with a PFFFTT noise and burst out laughing... (you know that sound that you make when you are trying not to laugh... I DONT KNOW HOW TO SPELL IT SO GET OUT OF IT). I assume that he must have been laughing at my stumbling around blindly so I proceed into his room to change his bum and get him dressed for breakfast, as I sit down on the floor little Mans laughing has now become gasping for air, and giggling wildly... He walks up to me and pulls a piece of wet toilet paper that was stuck to my forehead off and sticks it to his forehead.. still laughing wildly. Ok little man you are a comedian I get it.. I couldn't see ok!? I had run out of Make up remover pads so I had to use toilet paper... Guess now I know the real reason for his laughing. Look, I am NOT a morning person. He thinks it's the funniest thing he has ever seen or done in his life. I take the toilet paper off his head, because now his contagious laugh has caused me to burst out into laughter myself... and put it in the garbage. I go back into his room to get him dressed and change his poop bum. While taking the diaper out of his room to the trash I manage to trip over the baby gate, get my little toe caught and bend it back, trip over my other foot and have yet another date with the floor. I get up and there's Little man again, standing in his doorway... Laughing his little butt off.

Let's hope the remainder of the day will be accident free, I would like to make it to 26.

Ninjas Don't get pregnant, they just give birth!

Everyone has their own question that they just can't stand being asked... I know for a fact My friend Christine at mommymatter.com does, My husband does, My Mother does... and... Surprise!! So do I!

For me its... "Are you Pregnant?"... Obviously I have done some things in previous times that might be misconstrued as evidence that I might be... but I am not... and if I was, it would be obvious that I was not ready to tell anyone yet... SO STOP ASKING! Rest assured, if I do get pregnant again I will be sure to let everyone know, but until then.... NO I AM NOT PREGNANT... if I ever am again I will post a picture of the Positive test so that you all can see with your own eyes.

Aside from that rant... Today has been quite the interesting day. I am now sitting here quietly as little man is napping.. that's right folks he is napping AGAIN! Finally.. yesterday he decided not to and for the remainder of the day parenting him was like fighting with a drunk leprechaun... He's Short, He's Feisty, Can't understand a word he says, and he's wobbling all over the place in a complete and utter daze due to lack of sleep... all the while being grumpy about everything... I just about went to the cupboard to give him his lucky charms back before I realized I too must be sleep deprived... or drunk...Husband/Daddy what did you put in my Cranberry juice jug?! Pfft... No everyone I DO NOT DRINK during the day... Don't try to repossess my child.. I haven't missed a payment YET!

That will be all until later...

Coffee, Pee, Vomit and a Date with The Floor

This morning was one of those mornings when you wake up refreshed for the day, you open your eyes and see the light spreading through the curtains and realize... It's time to start the day... you know... the kind of mornings you USED to have before you had kids....

Which leads me to the next part of my morning... WHAT TIME IS IT!? WHERE IS LITTLE MAN!? DID I SLEEP IN!? WHY IS HE SO QUIET!? Thats right... the ever so wonderful... Mommy Maniac Panic Time!!! I struggle my way out of the bed, my feet get stuck in the sheets and I somehow manage to have a date with the floor.. it was about time.. I mean, I have been leading him on for weeks accident free.. You're welcome Floor.. next time buy me dinner first... I recover from my date... and get off the floor, Rush out of my room and to little man's door. I slowly open it and.. he's still in bed.. fast asleep... Ok.. so that panic was for nothing at all..

I close the door as quietly as possible and check my phone to see what time it is... No we don't have a clock on our night stand.... It's only 7:45am. Where did THAT panic come from!?

Now feeling jubilant about my new found free time I decide it's time to put some pants on and make the 15 minuet trek down the stairs to perhaps make myself something highly caffeinated before little man wakes up. I take it slow, after all, I have already had a date with the floor and it's kind of slutty to have two separate dates on the same day... the stairs are going to have to take a rain check....

I get to the bottom of the stairs and hear: "Mommy!?"... Oh joy... No quiet cup of coffee this morning. And so begins my trek back up the stairs... I open little man's door and the first thing he says to me is "I Wet." Oh JOY! Thank goodness I have an extra set of sheets that are clean... Stupid Diapers.. 12 hours protection my ass... So, non-caffeinated and still a little sore from my date with the floor... I change little man's clothes, Change the sheets and blankets on his bed and now we both head downstairs.... Well there goes 2 hours of my morning spent in stairs and sheets already... All I wanted was a coffee...

We finally make it down the stairs and he eats breakfast and I continue on to make myself a coffee... just as the coffee is brewed... The dog pukes... and I have decided I no longer drink coffee...

Sock Puppets and a Crazy little thing called Love.

Have you ever had one of those days where it feels like you are talking to a sock? As a parent I constantly feel like that, and not one of those socks that has eyes sewn to its face, and a mouth drawn on.... no, not a sock puppet but just a plain jane sock... the kind my husband constantly leaves laying on the floor as opposed to putting it in the laundry hamper... (talking to him is like talking to a very large sock...)The only time either one of them actually listens to me is when I am talking about food, or cars... oh the joys of having a family of only boys.

For me and my family consistency is key. Husband/Daddy and I will always be a united front. We will always back each other up and in front of Little Man we will never argue about what we believe is the best parenting move, if one of us does something the other disagrees with we talk about it when little man is not around.


My Family Rules and a note to Children From their Mother:

1. When I say do something do it... I will ask you once, if you don't do it the first time I will ask you again with a warning of time out etc. If you don't do it that time its straight to time out... do not pass go, do not collect 200.00. And you bet your butt then when you have served your 2 minuets for time out, the thing I asked you to do is STILL sitting there waiting for you to do it... and you WILL do it.

2. Bed time is Bed time. No questions, no delaying.... We have a specific routine that is followed every night before bed and between the hours of 8pm and 7am you are not to leave your room unless your rooms on fire. Simple.

3. I am not your short order cook. You don't enjoy what I made you for dinner? Too bad! No I will NOT make you a peanut butter sandwich, no I will NOT beg you to eat... you sit at the table until what I cooked is finished... if you're still there at bedtime? You go straight to bed..and you get it for breakfast the next day.... enjoy.

4. I am not your friend, I am your Mother. You will make plenty of friends along the way in life... but you will only have one Mother, one person that gave birth to you.. one person that "Pushed a watermelon through a garden hose" so that you can have life... and that's what you need me to be... a Mother... Not your Pal.

5. Don't whine... It's an awful noise and it gets you NOTHING.

6. Use your Manners. There is nothing more disgusting to me than when a child demands things. You can and WILL be raised better than that. Ask nicely, and don't expect to get ANYTHING unless you do.

7. Know I love you. I love you more than anything in the world. You are my reason for living and nothing will ever change that.

Well, that concludes my lesson for the day! Ha! Anyways, I am sure there are other things that I could put on that list but those are the most important ones to me....

I believe that if those rules are all enforced a level of "respect" will then result from them and will be paid to all adults... I have to set the example.. thats what parenting is about..

Dinner Time.... The Ultimate Spartan Battle!

When dinner time comes lately... I feel like I am watching 300. Little man would be Gerard butler and I would be the dirt on his shoe. Ok. Let's rephrase that, I am the Spartan master. He is my minion. But he TRIES really hard to be Gerard butler...

We all finish dinner and he sits there. We all leave the table and he sits there. He Stares at us and WE just sit there in the living room. He talks to me and my response is and always will be "eat"......one word, no eye contact. He sighs. He sits there. I glance over and he's got a defiant look on his face.... He's totally part of his daddy's family.....Stubborn and bull headed. But I am part of MY daddy's family..... More stubborn and more bull headed. You just can't win Gerard...and I am NOT sorry. He sits there....20 minuets pass... He realizes I am not going to back down and he picks up his fork, slowly raises it to his lips and takes a bite. He doesn't realize I AM watching him (because of course I am a ninja.) but I am Victorious! It may have taken 20 minuets but I STILL won! A few more minuets and I hear "Mommy... I done" I go over... he's done. I say "Next time you will eat while everyone else eats... Got It?" Little man replies with a "Got it" and the battle.. I mean dinner is done. He will learn one day.... Consistency.

Victory is and always will be... Mine.....