Monday, February 7, 2011

Bedtime Abuse, Name Changes And Poop Bums

Picture this:

It's night time. You're fast asleep, warm and cozy in your bed and suddenly you are awakened by a serious lack of oxygen! You come completely to and realize that your wonderful sleeping husband who is snoring away next to you and sounding like a weed whacker has his entire hand positioned directly on top of your face. Now you are a little pissed, you remove his hand from a top your face and push it away, making sure to kick him a little and tell him to roll over so that it won't happen again. You drift back to sleep, having THE best dream about Mark Wahlberg when all of a sudden Markie Mark belts you across the head and starts pushing you... you wake up and realize that's not Markie Mark that's your wonderful Husband again, except this time he's elbowing you in the head and slowly moving you off of the bed.... That explains EVERYTHING, you KNOW Markie Mark would NEVER treat this way... So Now you are very angry. You roll over, move his arm from near your head and punch him in the arm... he FINALLY wakes up... You explain to him that you are sorry but he has been abusing you in his sleep, He of course doesn't remember any of this because HE was fast asleep! Finally you drift back to sleep and 3 seconds later you hear another little voice coming from the other bedroom: "Mommy... I poop bum" That's when I made 3 major life decisions:

1. I am getting my own bed
2. My name is no longer Mommy, I have changed it to Princess Consuela Banana Hammock
3. This Poop bum is Daddy's... He's had his sleep.

1 comment:

  1. HAHAH! Love it. Especially your new name of choice. Oh how I love that episode.